Weeks 23 and 24

   Well, I am a bit delayed with these posts, per the usual.  Biggest pregnancy update is that I am feeling our son move so much more!  It is definitely very reassuring and really fun!  When I sit down and when I'm trying to go to sleep are the times he especially loves to go crazy.  I wonder what this kid is going to be like when he is born.  He is super chill like 75% of the time but when he decides it's time for his daily exercise, he means business and doesn't stop moving for quite a while!
   Other than pregnancy, our biggest life update is that David was promoted to Lieutenant!  He will tell you that it's not a big deal and that he stayed breathing in the Navy for 4 years.  However, while in some ways this is true, you get promoted to Lieutenant 4 years post graduation, I would like to take a few minutes to brag about him because I think he has done a whole lot more than stay breathing for four years.  He is so humble, I know he would never say anything about the amazing job he is doing right now.
    David has the best attitude of anyone I know despite how difficult things are for him.  I can't begin to describe to you how crappy a lot of aspects of his job are right now.  He gets up at or before 5:00 every day, and works 12-15 hour days 6 days a week.  In addition to that, every three days he has to stay overnight and on those nights he goes from when he gets up around 4:30 am, until about 8pm standing duty and then spends about another 2 hours getting caught up on all his responsibilities that he isn't able to do while on duty .  Then he sleeps for about two hours, gets up, does his rounds then sleeps for about another hour, and then gets up on the boat and works another full workday before coming home.   That's been his schedule for the most part for a little over a year and a half.  Let me tell you, my attitude after one day of that would be terrible.  I am kind of like a baby.  I need to sleep and eat or I am no fun at all to be around...we will see how this goes when I actually have our baby. :)      
    Anyway, back to David.  I could go on and on about how much he works or how hard all of his jobs are or just how much brilliance is required to do his job.   However, the most impressive part is that he comes home every day with a positive attitude, a willingness to pitch right in with whatever I am doing, and his first words are always "how was your day, Babe."  It is so rare that he really complains about his day, or talks negatively about a situation at work.  Instead, he pitches in with dinner and dishes, asks me about how I'm doing, takes me out for froyo :-), and loves and and serves me unwaveringly.  I am often humbled as I look at our marriage.  Ephesians 5:25 is the well known passage that says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her."  I know that David isn't perfect and I'm not saying he is at the same level as the way Christ loves the church, but David does walk this verse out so well in our marriage.  He constantly sacrifices for me, is far more concerned with my well being than his own, and I have never doubted his love.  I am so overwhelmed by God's grace in giving me such an amazing husband.  I couldn't imagine a more perfect match for me and I am so excited to have him as our son's father.  So, thanks, Babe, for being a man that I can brag about and that is faithful, kind, hard working, diligent, funny, smart, encouraging and loves me and the Lord more than anything else.  I'm so proud of you.

Here are a few shots from their promotion ceremony. 

Way to go, Babe!  I love you and am so proud of you!

Weeks 21 and 22

    Alright folks, so we are going to back track a little bit.  The last few weeks have been full of ups and downs for us.  For more on that, see my previous blog posts.  The biggest pregnancy change has been feeling our son move a whole lot more!  It was challenging for me to not worry in week 21 and early in week 22 because I barely ever felt him move.  I would go days without feeling him.  Then, all of a sudden, he just decided to start moving!  I feel him often now and I love it!  Honestly, it's a little weird.  But it's also really amazing and definitely so reassuring!  I think the most memorable thing that happened was earlier this week David finally felt him for the first (and still only) time! I kept trying and trying and finally, the other night, our son gave a big kick and David felt him.  The look on his face was priceless. It was such a mix of excitement and amazement mixed with a little bit of "that was really crazy."
    This week, for some reason, I have been really thinking about our future.  This is something that is often on my mind with a new baby on the way, but it has been especially on my mind because we have so many friends that are nearing the end of their time here in Norfolk.  I have found myself so tempted to begin to worry.  What will our future hold?  When will we move?  Will we make friends?  Will we like where we live?  Will we be far from family?  The list goes on.  We have been incredibly blessed here in Norfolk.  I have made amazing friendships with women that are incredible friends.  We completely love our little apartment, the area where we live, and my job.  I just can't imagine my life without all these amazing girls in it!  I'm beginning to get so sad at how soon they are all leaving!  However, in the midst of all that, my wonderful mother reminds me of all the verses in the Old Testament especially, where God reminds His people to remember His faithfulness.  In other words, to recount to themselves the times and the ways that God has provided and shown Himself faithful.  This is what I have been trying to do on nights like this weekend when I'm especially over being alone on the weekends, annoyed at the Navy, and bemoaning everyone moving away.  Insert necessary choice to remember God, here.  This is where the remembering comes into play.  I have two choices.  I can either continue down the spiral until I've eaten the entire pie in the refrigerator and let my pregnancy hormones wreck havoc on me, or I can choose to take control of my thoughts.  I will admit, this weekend, there was a little bit of the former, but I'm sitting here now, attempting the latter.  God is faithful and wise.  He knew that reflection is a huge part of stopping ourselves before we fall down the emotional spiral.  I begin to recount God's faithfulness in my life....
    We have amazing friends here.  They are friendships that are unlike any others in my life.  Fused together by a common bond of life in the military, these women have been my lifeline from almost the moment we moved here!  God knew what He was doing when He led us to an apartment which unbeknownst to us was one block down from Valerie Wegener who I have known since growing up in Charlotte, and who introduced me to my core group of friends.
    We live in a wonderful place.  My mom and I traveled to Norfolk the summer before David and I got married, to apartment hunt while he was on deployment.  We had no idea what we were doing or where to look.  The wife of a guy from David's boat whom I had never met sweetly gave us a ton of helpful information.  However, it was still a very difficult process not knowing the area!  David's cousin's best friend (how's that for a connection!?) and her real estate agent mother, sacrificed their entire day, changed all of their plans, to find us an apartment.  They convinced us to live here in Ghent, and we could not be happier.  It has been the perfect location and has given us a totally different life experience of what it's like to live in a city.
    David has not been deployed again.  While life in the shipyard is definitely frustrating and definitely not our preference for this tour, at the same time, he comes home several nights a week, and I know where he is every day.
     We have made great friends on David's boat.  The Ward Room on David's boat has been great.  We have loved getting to know them and have made some incredible friendships.  Also, for the most part, his superior officers have been good guys, especially his captain.  It's hard to imagine his schedule much worse, but if we would have had different guys running the show, things could have been much, much worse.
     We are having a baby!   We are thrilled to be opening this new chapter of our lives and often marvel at the miracle of having a son!  We prayed for this pregnancy and to see God answer our prayers has been awesome.  We can't wait to see what it's like to be parents and to experience love in a whole new dimension through having a child.
   Honestly, the list could go on and on as I reflect on how God has blessed us even in just our time together.  He has changed deployment schedules and training locations, provided friendships and housing, given us unexpected days off together, provided jobs for me, and placed us near family.  The words from an old hymn speak of resting on the Lord and in His faithfulness.

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Here are weeks 21 and 22! 

Gender Reveal

   We have decided to wait a little bit to get this blog post out, but we wanted to finally share the gender of our little baby!!  We are having a....

 Can you believe it??  We are so thrilled.  David was convinced all along, but I had absolutely NO idea!  

   We both worked in the morning on May 21, so we met at the hospital.  David got there almost 30 min early because he was so excited!  The lady at the front desk was very surprised when we checked in for our 3:30 appt before 3:00.  We told her we just couldn't wait any longer!  Thankfully, they took us a little early.  The ultrasound went great.  Right now our son (still getting used to saying that) is right on track for being a healthy baby and an average size which is a relief to me since David was an almost 10 pounder!  It was so much fun to see how much our baby has grown since our 8 week ultrasound!  We got to see all of his little fingers, watch him suck his thumb, wriggle around a little bit and just look totally adorable.  We had decided beforehand that we would wait to find out the gender until it was just the two of us, so while we were there, we had the sweet and obliging ultrasound tech write down the gender on a card and seal it in an envelope.  We could barely handle the excitement and probably stopped 10 times on the way to the car to ask each other if we should just open it now.  Thankfully, we had the willpower to wait until we got home.  However, David about drove me crazy holding up the envelope in the rearview mirror of his car since we drove separately, and pretend to open it on the way home.  We made it home, and immediately ripped it open, and saw that we were having a boy.  I am so incredibly excited to be having a boy, but if I had been apprehensive at all before opening that card, seeing the elated look and the huge smile on David's face would have made it completely worth it!!  I will never forget that smile!  We went out to dinner that evening to celebrate our news.  

    Since then, David and I have had so much fun telling our families what we are having.  They had such great reactions!  We have also begun to wrap our minds around the idea of having a son and continue to get more excited.  Sometimes the thought of having a boy is crazy to me.  I can't help but think, "Goodness, I think I know a little bit about girls, but a BOY!?" Oh my.  What do I know about raising a boy to be a man of God, and be manly yet gentle, firm yet polite, a leader yet still a servant.  Thank goodness for God's grace and an amazing husband, as well as uncles and grandpas who will be an incredible example for our son.  We have decided to keep the name of our son a secret until the birth.  We have decided on a first name, but are still working on the middle name.  I can't wait to meet this little boy in about 17 weeks!  Here are a few more pictures taken by the incredible Val Wegener of Valerie Lynn Photography.  She is amazing, and we love her!
     I also want to say, we have deliberated extensively about when to post this.  While we are overwhelmed with excitement and joy at having our little son, our hearts also weigh heavily for our little nephew, Gideon Watts and his precious parents as they begin their battle with Watts' leukemia.  Watts, we can't wait for you to get better and to meet your cousin.  I know you are going to be great friends and get into all kinds of trouble together.  I can't wait for you to wrestle together, go on adventures, build forts, and learn what it means to be the kind of men that your parents are praying you become.  In the meantime, Watts, we know that God is holding you in the palm of His hand.  "Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it, and you are much more precious than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29),  Watts, we know you are hurting and confused but we are praying this for you that you feel God's presence like He promises in Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Keep fighting, little Gideon.  Your cousin will be excited to meet such a strong, courageous little boy like you.

Pre Gender Reveal

This blog post is bittersweet.

   I have been eagerly, excitedly waiting to write about the gender reveal of our precious little baby.  However, for the last few days, our sweet little 10 month old nephew, Watts, has been in the hospital as they try and determine what is wrecking havoc in his precious little body.  We found out that he has Acute Lymphoblasic Leukemia or ALL .  Shocked and incredibly sad in no way captures the feelings that David and I have been feeling and definitely do not do justice to what his parents are feeling and experiencing.  Please pray for Gideon Watts and his parents as they start chemotherapy and for this long road they have ahead of them.  For more info about little Watts, please visit http://cloudsofmercy.blogspot.com.

    David and I couldn't be more thrilled about having a baby this fall.  However, the news of Watts' diagnosis stirred up in us an unexpected sense of fear and uncertainty regarding the future of our little baby.  I have had many moments of worry and anxiety about my pregnancy, all of which have been fairly irrational, but even in these moments, God is faithful.  He has met me in the midst of my worrying and fear and reminded me of His faithfulness. This news, though, struck a deeper sense of fear and worry in us striking so close to us and in someone we love so dearly.   

    As David and I have talked since finding out about Watts, we have expressed these fears to one another and discussed how it is possible to be amazing parents that are Godly, prioritize life appropriately, make healthy life choices for your family, and still, have challenges and struggles and sickness.  My sister and brother in law, Hannah and Michael, are two of some of the most amazing parents that I know.  David and I look up to them in so many ways.  However, being amazing parents didn't exempt them from having an inconceivably hard thing happen to them - a baby diagnosed with Leukemia.  I have begun to reflect on the way that life as a parent isn't always like a bank.  If you put in enough good parenting and healthy eating, and great education, and Godly living, your child will not necessarily avoid hardship and smoothly go through life.  Life is hard and we live in a world that is fallen.  For me, I find myself putting a huge amount of stock in believing that if I eat the right things and exercise the right amount and have the right birth plan, and live a Godly enough life, my baby will turn out ok.  That's not what God promises, as much as I often live like it is.  There will be suffering and pain and He doesn't promise we will avoid this, but He does promise that He will be by our side when it does.  Here are a few of the things that He promises in His Word. "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6), that He has plans for me and my baby that are good (paraphrased from Jeremiah 29:11), and that ultimately, He is in complete control of my baby and me.  He promises that someday, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death, or crying, or mourning, or pain." Until this time, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' For He will save you from the fowler's snare, and from the deadly pestilence.  He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday."  (Psalm 91:1-6).  
   He holds my baby and Watt's little lives in His hands.  Nothing I do right now will change that fact, and when I think about whose hands I want my baby's life to be in, mine, or God's?  I immediately realize my own foolishness, and again attempt to relinquish control to the one who had it all along and holds it so perfectly, and tenderly, in His hands.